Why is this happening to me?
by smellcolor
Summary: The story of Martin Brewer and Ruthie Camden
1. Ruthie likes Martin

CHAPTER 1 _RUTHIE_

Why is this happening to me? He's supposed to be like my brother, I can't have feelings for him. They've been lingering there for a while. He moved in almost a year ago and these "feelings", or whatever you want to call them, have been there almost as long. I try to remind myself that it's just a crush; nothing will ever come of it. But then I see him coming down the stairs holding the twins hands and my heart just melts. The way he says my name reaches to the very depth of my soul. "Ruthie… Ruthie? Are you listening?"

"Sorry Mr. Graham, I spaced off there for a second. But I'm back now."

"So glad to have you join us, will you please pay attention? Adam, what did you think of the rhetoric used by Shakespeare in _Much Ado about Nothing_?"

Whew, that was a close one. I'm just glad that no one in my family was here to see that. Especially Martin, there I go again. Why is it everything I think about ends up coming back to him? Well, there's the bell, at last this class is over. I hope I see Martin in the hall. No, no I don't, if I see him, then I'll get that giggly girl feeling in the back of my throat and he'll know something is up.

There he is, talking to Zoe… why is he still friends with her? "Hi Ruthie." Uhhh, he said hi, what do I do? Why is this so hard, I know what comes next, I say hi back. I open my mouth, but words don't come out.

"Hhhh…. uhhhh… ummmm… hi." He just kind of looks at me with a confused face. Ugh, I don't deserve for a boy to like me, I am a total putz. Why couldn't I just say 'Hi Martin, how is school going today?' or 'Hey Martin, that shirt looks really nice on you?' But no, I had to blather on with sounds, they weren't even words.

"Is everything, okay?"

"Umm, yeah, everything is fine. I'm just really very thirsty. I have to go, I'll see you later Martin." There, not graceful but at least it was a complete sentence, with words. I hurry down the hall and slip into the Ladies' Room, I just about blew it. I can withhold my feelings for a while, I can act normal. We'll continue being friends; we'll talk, and if in the meantime we happen to get really close… so be it.

The last class of the day is finally over. Mom or Dad can't pick me up today, so I guess I'll just have to go watch Martin at baseball practice. What a shame, I have to watch Martin for two hours and then I get to ride home with him.

As I sit there I wonder if Martin thinks I still like Mac, because as I stare at him, Mac stares at him and then at me. But, if Mac thinks I like him, it's not that big of a deal because I don't like him anymore. Not the way I like Martin.

He is so good at baseball, he plays shortstop and not one ball is getting past him. I'll bet he makes it to the big leagues. Wouldn't that be something? Practice is getting over and I see him coming toward me, whew, just play it cool. I can do this. I can be friends with him and not let him know how much I truly like him. "You ready to go?" Then I hear his out of breath voice and see his sweaty face, and I don't know if I can keep this a secret. He is just so cute.

"Yeah, let's go." There, that came out just fine. I can do this. We walk toward his car and he makes small talk about things like school and homework. I make it through gracefully, if I do say so myself. Finally we are pulling into the driveway, and I can go up to my room and think about Martin without worrying about getting caught. That's a relief.

As I'm sitting in my room I here a song on the radio that makes me think about my little situation, _Redundant_ by Green Day.

_Now I cannot speak, I've lost my voice, _

_I 'm speechless and redundant 'cause I love you's not enough, _

_I'm lost for words_

How do songs do that anyway, they have a song for exactly what you're feeling at the time. My music must be too loud because Lucy comes upstairs to tell me to turn it down. "I've been calling you for like five minutes… what's up?"

"Nothing… I was just thinking. Was there ever a boy that you liked so much it consumed you, but you knew that nothing would come of it? 'Cause there is this guy that I really like, but I can't tell him. He'd never like me back, and I'm friends with him. I don't want things to get weird."

"Ruthie… I'm going to tell you what Mom told me when I was your age and this exact thing was happening to me, 'Is it better to be safe and have him as a friend, or is he worth the risk? You never know, he might be "the one."' So Ruth, is he worth it?"

"I don't know. This is the first time I've ever felt like this; I didn't even like Peter this much. How do I know? I don't want to mess things up, because I have these silly feelings for him. He's everything I never knew I always wanted."

"I guess my only advice then is to pray. God will help you make the right decision. Because even if things don't work out between you and this guy, if it's what He told you to do, then it was the right decision. Do you want to tell me who it is?"

"Um, not right now, I might eventually. But I'm going to keep it quiet for now."

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk… I'm here for you."

"Thanks Luce."

As Lucy leaves my room she says, "Oh, hey Martin, if you need to talk to Ruthie we're done talking now." Oh my god, he heard, he knows everything. Thank goodness I didn't tell Lucy it was him. Play it cool, act totally normal.

"Yeah Martin, you can come on in."

"I was just thinking… do you want to hang out with Mac and me. We're going to the Promenade for pizza."

"Sure, let me ask Mom if it's okay. Mom! Can I go to the Promenade with Martin!"

"Sure Honey, don't be back too late. Do you have homework? Because if you do I want it done before you go."

"Already finished it, thanks. We'll be back soon."

"Hey Martin, I have a couple of things to do before we go, I'll meet you downstairs in ten minutes."

"Fine, I'll be waiting in the living room." Yes, yes, yes! I'm so excited. I want to look nice, but not to nice he might suspect something if I do. Promptly ten minutes later I'm stepping on the last stair and I tell him I'm ready to go.

While we're walking to the car I remember that he said we're meeting Mac there. "By the way, you didn't say anything to Mac did you? He was looking at me funny today."

"I might have let it slip that you had a crush on him. Do you still have a crush on him?"

"No, and there's no need pretending like you didn't hear me talking to Lucy. I like… this other guy." I guess I must have had a goofy gushy face when I said that because he replied, 'It's that serious huh, who is he?' "Uh, no one important, I'd really rather not talk about it. I think he's seeing someone, plus he's your age."

"My age? Ruthie now you have to tell me, this will be bothering me for weeks. Plus, that was not a 'no big deal face' that was a 'this is true love' face."

"Well, you'll just have to tough it, 'cause I'm not saying anything. You won't get a word out of me." We pull into a parking spot near the pizza place. As we near the seating area we spot Mac. "Look there's Mac, let's go talk to him." I've found a way out of telling him for now, but the ride home will be a killer.

"Hey guys, I already grabbed a table. It's over there." It's a lot chillier than I thought it was, I'm shivering. This is not good.

"Looks great, but can we maybe eat inside, I'm really cold." Martin hands me his jacket and tells me 'that it's such a nice night; it'd be a shame to be inside.' Well, I can't argue with that. Especially with Martin's warm jacket snuggled around me. I can still smell his cologne; I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I then quickly open my eyes looking around, and being so thankful that Martin was looking at Mac. "Okay, that's fine with me. Thanks for your jacket."

"Yeah, don't even worry about it." But it's all I can think about, most guys wouldn't even think about handing me their jacket. Most would just say something to the effect of 'you should have worn something warmer.' But not Martin, he's a true gentleman. He even held open the door for me when we were going to get our pizza.

I realize I've been spacing for a couple of minutes so when I finally start listening again, I'm distraught to hear Mac asking Martin, "Man did you see that girl in Pre-calc today? I think her name is Marcy, she was looking mighty fine." I don't want Martin thinking that way. I like him; I don't want him thinking other girls are pretty.

So before he can reply I say, "Can we talk about something other than girls? I don't talk to you about what guys are looking good."

"What's with her?" Mac just doesn't get it.

"She likes a new guy. He's in our grade, but she won't tell me who he is."

"Martin, why did you tell him that? I'm not even going to tell you who it is, why do you think I'll tell Mac?

"Well thanks Ruthie that makes me feel really special. Maybe if we both bug her enough, she'll break."

"That was my plan." Why are they doing this to me? I can't tell them. When and if I tell Martin, I most certainly don't want Mac to be there!

"It's not gonna work guys, my mind is a steel trap. I won't let even a letter slip. I'll tell you when I'm ready for you to know. Now, unless you two stop harassing me, I'm going to walk home." This turned out to be a great night. As I'm getting up Martin touches my arm, "We'll stop, for now. But sooner or later you're going to have to tell me." I sit back down, so thankful for the momentary silence.

The rest of the evening goes by and there's not much to tell. We ate, we laughed, and we left. Now I'm sitting in my room dreaming about how great Martin would look holding my hand as we lay under the stars. That's the last though I have before I drift off to sleep.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Redundant by Green Day

Chapter 2 should be up in a couple of days


	2. Martin likes Ruthie

CHAPTER 2 _MARTIN_

"I was talking to Ruthie yesterday, she likes someone. But she won't tell me who it is, and it's driving me nuts. I don't know why it's making me so crazy." Mac just looks at me. "What?"

"You like her. I can't believe you were telling me not to get involved with her, and you like her. Of course you don't want her to go out with anyone; you want to go out with her."

"I do not like her. I can't. She thinks of me like a brother. I think of her like a sister. I don't like her that way." I don't do I? I can't like her that way. But the more I think about it the more nuts it's making me.

"You so do not. If you think of her like a sister you're living in the wrong state, you should move to Arkansas. There is no way that you can deny this. I can tell that you like her." I love Mac, he's my best friend, but why is he so pushy? I'm not admitting anything yet.

"Fine, I like her! There, are you happy now?" Why did I tell him that? He's going to bug me about it, he might even tell her. "Don't say anything to her though, I'll tell her…eventually."

"I knew it, I am good. I am so good. I didn't think you'd admit it this quickly though, you're cracking man." Right then Ruthie comes into the kitchen and Mac and I look at each other. I give him a look that is supposed to be saying 'Say anything and I'll kill you.' Thankfully he took the hint and turns toward Ruthie, "Hi Ruthie, how are you today?"

"I'm fine…" She looks a little confused. "How are you Mac?"

"I'm fine too. I think I'm going to get going though. I'll talk to you later Martin."

"Okay, bye." I have to act more normal than this or she'll know something is up. "I'll see you tomorrow Mac." There, that was better. Mac lets himself out and there is an uncomfortable silence between Ruthie and me.

"I'm going to make a PB&J, do you want one?" Whew, the awkwardness is over, now I can say something.

"Yes, I'd love one. I'll get the milk." She makes the sandwiches and cuts them both diagonally, just like me. All of a sudden I have a vision of us making dinner together, only we're older. We're married and we have kids. Wow, I like her a lot more than I thought I did. I shouldn't be thinking about that kind of stuff, it's a little obsessive. But when I look at her I just can't help it.

"So what were you and Mac talking about? It seemed important." Uhh… what should I say?

"It wasn't. It was just… nothing." I sigh and I can tell she notices.

"Come on, I know you better than that. That didn't sound like a nothing sigh, that sounded like a something sigh. You can tell me you know; I'm here for you. Is it about a girl?" I choke on my milk, with the circumstances I'm lucky that it didn't come out of my nose. "I'll take that as a yes. Who is she?"

"I don't think I want to answer that. Plus, if you aren't going to tell me who you like, I'm not telling you anything. I'll let you know eventually. But first, I have to think about some things."

"Can't you just give me hint? I gave you a hint." Dang! She did give me a hint. Now I have to give her a hint, but not too big of one.

"I'll tell you one thing about her, and that's it. Is it deal?" What to tell her, what to tell her.

"It's a deal."

"She is a bit younger than me." That could be a lot of girls; she'll never know that I'm talking about her.

"I guess that will have to do for now. But I want you to know, you can trust me. I won't tell anyone. You're one of my best friends Martin; I'd never do anything to hurt you." She manages to take my breath away.

I clear my throat, "Thanks Ruthie. That really means a lot to me. The same goes for you too, you can tell me anything. I'm always here for you." She gets up and walks over to me she puts her arms around me and we stand there hugging for a moment. As we're letting go she stands on her toes and kisses me on the cheek. My stomach is doing flip flops, and I can't help but hold my breath.

She then retreats back to her room, where I imagine she is either doing homework or thinking. I might have a chance after all, that hug seemed like more than a sibling thing. I sit in the kitchen for a couple of minutes just thinking. Finally I realize I'm still in the kitchen and I go up stairs to my room.

I'm doing my homework when I hear a knock at my door. It's Eric. "Hello Martin. Dinner's almost ready."

"Actually I'm not feeling so well, I think I'm going to pass. My stomach is really bothering me. I think I might throw up."

"I'll tell Annie and she'll come check on you in a little while. The flu is going around; I sure hope that's not what you have."

"You and me both, I don't want to miss baseball tomorrow. But if I continue to fell the way I do right now, I think I'm going to have to."

"Well I hope you feel better, I'll see you later." With that he leaves my room and heads down the stairs to the kitchen. I do feel bad, that was not a lie. But my stomach may be bothering me partly because Mac knows that I like Ruthie, and the fact that I even like Ruthie. She's two years younger than me, I live in her house, and I'm supposed to be like her brother.

Around 9:30 pm Annie comes into my room to check on me. She feels my forehead, tells me I have a fever, and asks me how I feel. "Not good." She says that I'll probably be staying home tomorrow. Then she leaves my room. I drift off to sleep, but only for a short while. I wake up with a start around 12:00 am and run to the bathroom, I lean over the toilet and start puking. I hate throwing up.

I guess I woke up Annie and Eric because they both knock on the door and ask if I'm alright. The sound of me heaving must have answered their question because they stopped knocking. Finally, after throwing up most of what I've eaten in the last day and a half, I stand up and open the bathroom door. "Oh, honey, you go lay down. I'll clean this up and get you some crackers."

I sleep terribly all night long. I throw up several times during the night. I didn't know you could throw up when there's nothing in your stomach, but believe me I now know that you can. Around 6:30 am I finally get a couple of consecutive hours of sleep.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Chapter 3 should be up in a couple of days


	3. Sick Day

CHAPTER 3 _RUTHIE_

"Ruthie, honey, wake up… it's time for school." Uh, 6:00 am has arrived and so begins another day of school. I don't really feel like going today. Maybe I'll play a little hooky.

"Mom, I don't feel well today. Will you come up here?" I can fake sick for a day.

As she walks into my room she says to me, "Does this have anything to do with Martin?" How could she possibly know? I haven't told anyone. I've been doing great.

"No, no of course not. What would this have to do with Martin?" I say this a little too quickly and I know that she thinks something must be up.

"Nothing, I just found it a little suspicious that both of you are staying home sick today." He's staying home sick. Hmmm, this could be kind of fun. We can hang out.

"Why is he staying home?"

"He's been throwing up since last night. I think he might have the stomach flu. Why don't you go back to sleep, and when you wake up I'll make you both some soup.

I wake up around 10:00 just as Mom is walking into my room. "How long have you been awake? I was just coming to get you up?"

"I just opened my eyes. Are you going somewhere? You have your purse with you."

"Yes, I was just going to run some errands. I have some soup for you and Martin down on the counter; will you take it to him?

"Sure, where is he?"

"He's downstairs on the couch watching TV. You should eat with him, so he'll have someone to keep him company while I go to the store.

"Okay." She then leaves my room, and I get up and put on my robe and slippers. They are these really cute SpongeBob slippers; you put your feet in where his mouth is. I wore really cute PJ's to bed last night so I don't have to worry about those. I head down the stairs and make a pit stop in the bathroom to fix my hair.

I go through the kitchen and put our soups onto TV trays and I get us both a can of Sprite. I then make my way for the family room. I stop for a second and look at him lying there, with the trash can near his head. I feel so sorry for him. But on the bright side I'm here to take care of him and keep him company. We can watch movies and we can talk. This is could be a great day for me. "Hey you, do you think you can keep down some chicken noodle soup?"

"Hi Ruthie, yeah I might be able to. Are you sick too? Where did your Mom go? I think I might need some more medicine."

"Yes, the store, and I'll get it for you."

"Thanks." I set the tray in front of him and head to the medicine cabinet to retrieve some Pepto-Bismol. I grab the bottle and pour some into the little cup that comes with it. I go back and as I'm setting it on Martin's tray he asks me if he has a fever. I feel his forehead with the back of my hand, but I just washed them so I can't tell. I lean over and put his forehead to my cheek.

"Yes, you're burning up! I'll go get you some ibuprofen to break the fever. In the meantime get rid of some of those blankets, it'll never go away with you bundled up like that."

"But I'm cold; I don't want to take off the blankets. Can I keep them… please?"

"Nope, this isn't negotiable, if it gets too high your going to take an ice bath. Now hand me one of your blankets!" I move toward him and he scoots away. "Martin! Give me the blanket!" I grab the blanket and pull. Oh my gosh, he's only in his boxers. "Well, that's why you're so cold. While I'm getting you the ibuprofen I'll also grab you some sweatpants." That was the hardest sentence of my life, plus I'm sure I'm blushing like crazy.

About an hour later he asks me to check his forehead again. So I do, with joy I might add. "Nope, you're as cool as a cucumber. If you still feel cold you can have a blanket now."

"No I think I'm good now. Although I am getting a little tired."

"Well, why don't I put in a movie and you can lie down. What do you want to watch?"

"How about _50 First Dates_, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone that I picked it."

"_50 First Dates_ it is, I love that movie." I got up and put the movie in and then I sat next to him on the couch. "Here you can lay your head on my lap." So he grabs a pillow and a blanket and lies down. I wish we could stay like this forever. We get to the part in the movie where he sings to her. I love that song, I've seen this movie so many times that I sing along:

_The Hukilau__ is the place _

_Where I first saw your face_

_We liked each other right away_

_But you didn't remember me the very next day_

_Forgetful Lucy _

_Has got a nice caboose-y_

_I used to trick you into pulling your car over so we could chat_

_But my favorite time was when you beat the shit out of Ula with a bat_

_Than we drove up to see Dr. Keets _

_And find out why Doug always has to change his sheets_

_Forgetful Lucy _

_Cracked her head like Gary Busey_

_But I still love her so_

_And I'll never let her go_

_Even if while I'm singing this song_

_She's wishing I had Jocko the Walrus' shlong_

_Forgetful Lucy_

_Her lips are so damn juicy_

_How about another first kiss? _

I look down at Martin and his eyes are closed. I've never seen him asleep before. He looks adorable, like he has not a care in the world. My eyes are getting heavy and before I know it I'm falling asleep too. I woke up after the movie was over with Martin's head still on my lap. Uh, I shouldn't have had that Sprite; I have to pee so badly. But I don't want to wake him up yet. I glance at the clock, wow it's already 1:30 pm. I wonder if Mom is home. I nudge Martin a little; he stirs but does not wake up. "Martin," I whisper every so quietly. "Martin, wake up. Martin I really have to go to the bathroom." Finally he opens his eyes and sits up. I already miss the warmth of his body.

After I go to the restroom I look around for Mom. She's not back yet; she must have had a lot of things to do today. I go back into the family room and see Martin huddled under the covers again. "I think you might have another fever. Here, let me check." This is getting to be one of my favorite things to do. He's usually so independent, I love taking care of him. "You sure do, I'll get you some more medicine."

"I think I'm gonna to be sick." I have never seen someone run that fast up stairs. I follow him upstairs and make it to the bathroom just in time to hear him flush the toilet. I get a cold rag and dab his forehead. "You know Ruthie; I really appreciate you doing all of this for me. I know you're not feeling well either, this really means a lot to me."

"If you promise not to tell my mother, I'm not actually sick. I was really tired and I didn't feel like going today. So I faked."

"Well I'm glad you did. Today, despite having the stomach flu and puking up my guts earlier, was nice. Do you want to watch another movie?"

"Yeah I'd love to. What do we watch now though?"

"I chose last time. It's your turn this time. Don't pick too girly of one though."

"You might have to sit through another girly one. But you're the one who picked _50 First Dates_! I was going to choose _The Shop Around the Corner_. Is that alright with you? If you really don't want to watch it we don't have to."

"No no, that's fine. I have to admit Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors. But first can we get some lunch or something. I'm actually really hungry."

"That's a really good sign. Do you want more soup?" I see the look on his face, "Or I could make you a sandwich or something? I'll make you whatever you want… within reason." Please be something easy. Please be something easy.

"How about scrambled eggs and toast? I'll help you, but first I'm going to go get something from my room. Okay?"

"That sounds fine. I'll go get started." I go to the kitchen and I get out all of the ingredients I'll need. I set them on the counter and get out the plates and glasses. Martin comes down the stairs in the kitchen wearing not only the sweatpants I brought him earlier but also a sweatshirt. "You can wear the shirt, but when we sit back down no more blankets." He makes a little pouty face, and my heart swoons. But I have to be firm, so I get back to making lunch.

I put the eggs in the skillet and Martin puts the bread in the toaster. While he's waiting for the toast he opens the fridge looking for something to drink. "Milk?"

"Yeah, milk's fine with me." He gets it out and pours us both a glass. The eggs are almost done and the toast just popped up. He butters the toast and puts two slices on each of our plates. With a spatula I put the eggs on both of our plates. "I didn't realize I was so hungry. Thanks for your help."

"Yeah me either, and it was no problem. I am glad to help out someone who has done so much for me today." We make a really great team. I can see us making dinner in our kitchen with our kids outback playing. I have to stop thinking like this. It's downright scary. I'm not even dating him and I'm thinking about our kids. How freaked out would he be if he knew?

I look at him and he looks at me, we share a moment. A moment I will remember for the rest of my life. It's like for a split second he knows, and he feels the same way. But then in walks Mom. "Oh you two are feeling better I see."

"Yeah, Mom we are feeling better. Martin has had a fever on and off all day though."

"That's not a good sign; you might have to go to the doctor tomorrow."

"Ruthie's been taking really good care of me though. You've taught her well when it comes to mothering a sick child." I swear I am in love with this man. He just said I'll be a good mother.

"I'll clean up in here. Why don't you two go back to the family room and watch a movie?" We both get up and head back to the couch. And that's how we spend the rest of the day, sprawled out in the family room watching movies. Unfortunately it's only Thursday and I have to go back to school tomorrow, I don't know how I can make it through an entire day without talking to Martin.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Forgetful Lucy by Adam Sandler

Chapter 4 should be up in a couple of days


	4. Know Who You Are

CHAPTER 4 _MARTIN_

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life, even though I have the stomach flu and have been throwing up consistently for over 24 hours. I'm staying home sick again today, but it won't be as good as yesterday, because Ruthie stayed home sick too and we spent the entire day together. She took care of me; she will make a great mother. Today she has to go back to school, which means a long and boring day for me.

She's all I can think about. I have to do something to get her off of my mind. I will be going to the doctor later, so that should get her off of my mind for a little while. I know something that will make me think of something else, listening to the radio. I reach over and turn it on; one of my favorite songs comes on (Know Who You Are by Ben Glover):

_Sometimes I think you know me_

_Better than I know myself_

_Sometimes I wonder if you think _

_That I know you just as well_

_You and I, we've bridged our lakes_

_And climbed our mountains_

_And finish that race, but the road is long _

_And the journey is far, and I am anxious _

_To know who you are_

_I want to know you_

_Like a bird knows _

_How to spread its wings and fly_

_I want to see you_

_Like a blind man_

_Sees his first glimpse of light_

_I want to hear you_

_Like the desert hears_

_A single drop of rain_

_I want to hold you_

_Like the sun above _

_Holds onto the day_

_And I want to love you_

_Yeah I want to love you_

_Just like Jesus loved me_

_And He gave Himself away_

_Monotony can steal our joy_

_And hide it in our busy lives_

_Oh, and stress can slowly chip away_

_The glimmer in each other's eyes_

_Oh, but I still melt_

_Every time I see you_

_And I would stop time _

_For a chance to hold you_

_'Cause your still the girl_

_Who grabbed my heart_

_And I'm still anxious _

_To know who you are_

That didn't really help me get my mind off of her though. In fact it made me think of her even more. I want to be the one singing the song, and it's about her. I'm only 17; I'm too young to think about being married, and wishing that it would happen soon. Plus it's at least three years until Ruthie can get married.

I spend the rest of the day listening to music and sleeping. I'm starting to feel a bit better. I'll probably be fine by tomorrow. Maybe I can go do something with Mac. I need to get out of the house.

I wake up again around 2:30 pm and go down stairs to watch TV. I'm sitting on the couch when Annie asks me if I can hold anything down. "Yeah, I think so. I'm feeling a lot better. It's been like six hours since I last threw up. How about a sandwich?"

"Okay, I'll be right back with it. What kind do you want?"

"Turkey on wheat with mustard and cheese. Thank you, I really appreciate it."

"No problem honey, I do the same for any one of you kids. You do know that I consider you just like one of my own children, don't you? Eric and I love having you here."

"Thanks. I think of everyone here like family too. You all have been so great to me, thank you for welcoming me into your home like you have. I love being here." She's leaving toward the kitchen just as Ruthie walks in the door.

"Hi Martin, are you felling better today?"

"I'm doing okay. I still have some fatigue and I don't feel 100 yet, but I do feel a little bit better. Thanks for asking. How was your day? Did you see the mystery man?"

"My day was okay. And yes, as a matter of fact I did have a conversation with him. But now that I'm home, I'm so thankful that it's the weekend. I don't know if I could take another day of school this week."

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem a little frustrated."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't really want to talk about school. How was your day here? Were you bored?"

"Yes! I slept most of the day. When I wasn't sleeping I was watching TV or listening to music. You'd be amazed at how long the day is when you have nothing to do."

Ruthie comes and sits down next to me and we talk for quite a while, until dinner actually. We talk about all sorts of things. But not the guy she likes. I think I might let that go. I don't know if I want to know. It hurts to think about her with another guy. I don't know if I'll be able to stand it. We talk about things like our childhoods, movies, video games, and just about everything.

She has to be the coolest girl ever. She likes the coolest stuff. She loves video games and action movies. But she still likes the girly stuff too, like make-up and romance. I don't know how I just started realizing this stuff two days ago; I've been living here for like a year. I guess I'm just lucky that I realized it before it was too late.

Dinner is ready and we go into the dining room to eat. Eric, Annie, Lucy, Kevin, Ruthie, Sam, David, and I made small talk throughout the meal. It was a little awkward, but I got through it. Finally I was finished. "May I be excused?" They of course said yes and I went to my room.

About 20 minutes later Kevin leans his head into my room. "Hey Martin, do you need to talk? You look like you could use someone to talk to."

"Actually yes, I really could use that. Would you mind shutting the door?" He comes in and shuts the door behind him. "It's about a girl…"

"I thought it might be, it usually is."

"There's this girl, I really like her. She's all I've been thinking about. Most of the time I would just ask her out and it would be over with, but this is different. I'm really close to her, we're very good friends and if I messed that up it would kill me."

"Yeah I know exactly what you mean. That is a hard place to be. But there is one thing that might be the silver lining, if this girl is that special to you, being her best friend is a really good place to be if you're thinking about marrying her someday. Your wife is your best friend."

"I know that, and believe I've been contemplating that a lot lately. I know I'm not ready for marriage, and neither is she. But her in a couple of years I might be. That is another complication, she's younger than me. This kind of relationship is hard no matter what, but when you put in complications like me going to college and her staying in high school it makes it even more difficult."

"How much younger than you is she?"

"Not that much, she's a freshman."

"A freshman? As in like the same age as Ruthie?"

"Yeah, you could say."

"Would Ruthie be okay with you going out with a girl her age?"

"If I were to actually go out with this girl, I'm sure Ruthie would be fine with it."

"Are you sure? Girls are weird at that age. I don't think she'd like it very much. High school girls have problems with guys going out with girls so much younger than them. It's not one of her friends is it?"

"Kevin, believe me, she would be fine with it."

"How do you know? Have you asked her?"

"If I were to ask out this girl, and she said yes I know that Ruthie would be okay with it. Do you want to know how I know? Because the girl I like _is_ Ruthie."

"Come again? Did you just say that you like Ruthie?"

"Yeah, I did. The last couple of days I've realized that I have really strong feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her, I can't sleep, I've dreamed of marrying her. I have never felt this way before, not even with Cecelia. I get butterflies in my stomach when she enters a room and tears in my eyes when she leaves one. I look forward to talking to her all day long, but when we finally do talk I can't find the words. If she weren't a part of my life I don't know what I'd do."

"Man, this is really serious isn't it? Are you in love with her?"

"I think I might be. I don't know how it happened; I went from thinking of her as a little sister to being head over heels in love with her. I want to be with her, but Kevin, if it didn't work out I don't think I could live with myself. If I ever hurt her in anyway it would tear me apart. I want her to be happy."

"Is she worth it?"

"What?"

"Is she worth the risk? Is a relationship with her, which could lead to marriage, worth the risk of losing a friendship? That's the only question you have to ask yourself. So is it?"

"Yeah, I think it might be. But I have to think about how I'm going to tell her. So if you could keep this information to yourself, in other words don't tell Lucy, I would really appreciate it."

"Okay, I'll keep it quiet. Good luck with telling her." He says this as he walks toward the door. He opens it up and leaves. I'm tired and sick to death of mulling over ways to tell Ruthie about my feelings, so I turn off the lights and go to sleep.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Know Who You Are by Ben Glover (unfortunately this song is only available on his promotion CD)

Chapter 5 should be up in a couple of days


	5. Day at the Park

CHAPTER 5 _RUTHIE_

I hope Martin feels better today. If he does maybe we can hang out. Deciding that I'm going to go see if he's alright, I rise out of bed. I go down the stairs into the hallway. I see the twins running about and Mom and Dad talking about something. I go up to Mom and ask her if Martin is doing better. She tells me that he is, he hasn't thrown up since last night, and that she believes the worst of it is past. I walk toward his door and knock a couple of times. "Hey, you feeling better?" I say as I walk in.

He sits up, "Yeah I am feeling a lot better. You know Ruthie it has been two days since we went to the Promenade, you think it's been enough time to tell me who this guy is? I really want to know."

"Martin, I'll tell you when I'm ready. I really like this guy, and I just need to figure some things out first. Okay?"

"Fine but I don't have to like it."

"Don't worry about it okay, I might not ever even tell him. If I was to tell him and he didn't like me back I don't know if I could take it."

"Not that I want you going out with him, but Ruthie he'd be crazy not to like you back. You're pretty and smart, don't worry about a thing. It'll all work out."

"I thought you didn't want me to go out with him. What's changed?"

"Nothing I still don't you to go out with him. I just don't want you to ever doubt yourself."

"Thanks that means more to me than you'll ever know. Are you feeling up to the park? I thought I might take the twins here in a little while; you want to go with me? Maybe we could also get some ice cream while we're out."

"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. Why don't we go in about 10 minutes?"

"Okay. I'll go get the twins." I go out of Martin's room and into the boy's room. "Hey guys, do you want to go to the park with Martin and me? And we might stop for ice cream on the way home."

Both David and Sam jump up and down. "Yes we want to go. This will be so much fun!"

It's such a nice day we decide to walk to the park. Martin and I walk next to each other with Sam and David running in front of us. It's great. We're walking down the street side-by-side and for a little while it feels as though we are dating. We make small talk until we reach the park. There we sit down on the swings while the twins go and play on the merry-go-round. "I bet I can beat you off the jump." I kick of my sandals and start pumping my legs.

"Are you kidding Ruthie? There is no way you'll beat me. On the count of three…," we count together… "one….two….THREE…!" We both fly off the swing set and into the sand below. Needless to say he did beat me, but after all he's like a foot taller than I am. We sit there for a while; the warm sand feels nice against my feet. Finally he says, "See, I told you you couldn't beat me." Somehow I already knew that he was going to say it sooner or later.

"Well, you were right. Although you do have an unfair advantage, you're like a foot taller than me so of course you'll land farther away than I would."

He stands up and brushes the sand off of his pants. "Excuses, excuses, I beat you fair and square." He reaches out his hand to help me up. I take hold of it and a pull myself up. For a second I just hold onto his hand, when I realize that I'm still holding it I quickly let it go. I also brush off the sand and look around for my sandals; I pick them up and start walking toward a nearby picnic table.

"I love the feeling of bare feet on grass. It has to be one of my most favorite things in the world. That and ice cream." As I'm saying this the boys come over to us with red little faces, they look totally worn out.

"Can we get ice cream now?" says one and the other quickly follows with "yeah can we? Please?"

Martin stands up and says "Yes, but first you have to catch me…" and he takes off running. They start chasing him around. I just sit there for a little while and watch them. I never knew that being good with kids was such an attractive quality, but it is. I am so attracted to him right now. I watch him for a little while more and then I get up and chase him too. None of us can catch him though. Finally he slows to a steady jog and Sam tags him. "I got you, now we can get ice cream."

"Yep, you sure did, buddy. Let's go." I find it amazing that he's standing there huffing and puffing and he still makes the offer to David for a piggyback ride. I offer to Sam and we're off to the ice cream parlor. When we reach the parlor he asks us what each of us wants and tells us to find a table. We pick a table with a great big umbrella covering it. He comes back several minutes later with the ice cream cones.

We've been gone for quite a few hours it's past 4:00 pm. "Maybe we should head back home. What do you think, Martin?"

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go." Finally we arrive back home. "This was a lot of fun, I'm glad you thought of it. But now I'm kinda pooped, I think I'm going to go take a nap."

"That doesn't sound like a half bad idea. I think I will as well."

I wake up and it's after 6:00 pm. I go down to the kitchen to see what we're having for dinner. But rather than Mom I find Lucy and Kevin. "Kevin, can I talk to Lucy alone for a little while. I need to talk to her."

"You know, you can talk to me too, right? I'm always here."

"Thanks, and I know. But this isn't something you can help me with. It's about a boy."

"Say no more. I'll be in the apartment 'kay Luce?"

"Yeah, okay."

Right as he shuts the kitchen door Lucy is already asking me what's up. "Well, it's about the boy we were talking about the other day. I'm going to tell you who it is, but you can't tell anyone, especially Kevin, okay?

"Okay, I won't tell Kevin."

"Or anyone else. Promise me Luce."

"I promise. Now come on spill the beans who is it?"

"I hope I'm not making a mistake telling you this, but I have to tell someone. You know what; let's go outside where less people can accidentally hear us." We go out on the back porch and sit on the steps. "It's Martin."

"Where's Martin?" She turns around and looks for him.

"No, I'm not saying I see Martin, I'm saying the guy I like…. the guy I like is Martin." A grin comes across her face, a smirk that can only be described as a Lucy grin. "I like him so much it makes my stomach hurt. I can't think, I can't sleep, and I dream about him almost every night. I've spent that last few days with him, and Luce, I loved every second, even when he was puking up his guts. I think about our children and what a good father he would be to them. I had a dream about our wedding…" She interrupts me.

"Ruthie, I knew it! I knew that he was too cute to live in our house. I didn't know you'd like him this much though. I thought it would be a fling like Robbie and I had while he lived with us. Ruthie, tell me the truth, are you in love with him?"

"I don't know. I'm 15, how am I supposed to know what love feels like. I've never even dated a boy before. But if love means you feel sick to your stomach when you're with him, but some how you feel even worse when you're not with him. And he's all you think about all the time, even when you're asleep. And you look at him and see a husband, a father, a friend. Then yes, I love him. I love him very much.

"Eeeee… this is so exciting. So are you going to tell him? You owe it to him to tell him."

"But what if he still thinks of me like a sister? I'm so afraid Luce, so afraid. I don't know if I can take that kind of rejection."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. I've heard the way he talks to you. Ruthie I know in my heart that he feels the same way you do. Why don't you go tell him?"

"Not yet. And Luce, you can't tell him either, you promised me. I want to get really close to him first. I think being best friends with him first will really help the relationship along. I really want this to work out between us. I love him. Plus it would be totally weird living in the same house as him if we broke up." I'll tell him, when the time is right.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Chapter 6 should be up in a couple of days


	6. Good Advice

CHAPTER 6 _MARTIN_

Ruthie and I took the twins to the park today. It was great, we had fun. I have to tell her. I don't know how much longer I can go on without her knowing. I saw her go into the backyard to talk to Lucy, I heard her say that she was going to tell Lucy who it is that she likes. I wish so much that it is me.

I sit there for several minutes just thinking about how happy she and I would be together. I feel from the bottom of my soul that we are meant to be. I know that I'm only 17 and I'm too young to be thinking about marriage, but I think Ruthie and I would have a very happy marriage. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have to tell her, and soon. Finally not being able to take it anymore I pick up the phone and call Mac. "Hi is Mac there?"

"This is Mac."

"Hey Mac, this is Martin. I need some one to talk to. I'm going to tell her tomorrow… I'm going to tell Ruthie that I want to be her boyfriend. I'm really nervous."

"I knew you'd come around eventually. How are you going to do it?"

"That part I haven't figured out. But I know that I have to tell her. I can't go on without her at least knowing."

"Knowing what, that you like her?"

"Mac, I don't just like her, I love her. I think she's the one for me. I want to be married to her, and have children with her, and grow old with her. I've never met anyone like her before. No one has ever clicked with me like this before."

"You're in love with her? I didn't know it was this serious. You have to find a way to tell her and soon, before it's too late."

"What do you mean too late?"

"Martin, don't you remember she really likes a guy our age. If she tells him before you tell her, you might not get the chance to tell her." I forgot about that. Why did he have to remind me that she likes someone else?

"Thanks for reminding me, as if I didn't have enough pressure telling her already. Now I have to worry about her still liking this other guy. Why does this have to be so difficult? I hate growing up."

"I know man, so do I. As wussy as it sounds, being a teenager is hard stuff. Feeling things that you never have before, not knowing what they mean, and not knowing what to do about them."

"I know what I have to do, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it. What if she doesn't want me?"

"Martin, if you keep asking yourself questions like that you're never going to tell her. You're going to tell her. So just think positive, she's going to say that she likes you too."

"Do you really think so? I hope so much that is the truth, but I'm not so sure. Why would she go on talking about the guy she likes if she likes me too?"

"Maybe you weren't supposed to know that she liked anyone. Plus she doesn't keep going on about it, people keep on bothering her about it… you in particular. Didn't you say that you overheard her telling Lucy about him?"

"You know what, I hadn't even thought about that. You're right; I wasn't even supposed to know about this. That does make me feel a little better. You're a good friend Mac. I'm going to tell her tomorrow. I'll let you know the turn out. Bye." I hang up the phone and my hand is shaking. I've never been more nervous in my entire life.

I walk downstairs and into the back yard. I see Lucy going into the garage toward the apartment. I hurry after her. "Lucy I have a question."

"Okay Martin, go ahead."

"There's this girl that I really like, and I'm going to tell her about my feelings tomorrow. But she likes another guy, should I still tell her? I don't want to hurt her."

"Yes. She deserves to know the truth. Even if she still picks the other guy, you have to take every chance in the world that you're the one she wants to be with. You deserve the chance to be with her too. Don't hold back because you're afraid of what may happen. 'Courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision that something else is more important.' I heard that once in a movie."

"So you think I should tell her no matter what?"

"Yes, Martin. You're a good kid; you deserve to be as happy as everyone else. I know you're life has been pretty rough so far, it's not fair sometimes. But this is you're chance, don't take it for granted."

"Well thanks, that's really nice of you to say. I will tell her tomorrow." I start walking toward the exit, but she stops me.

"Martin, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, it's the least I can do for you after all of the great advice."

"Is this girl you really like Ruthie?" The blood from my face drains and I feel light headed. I hold my mouth agape and she just continues to stare at me. How could she possibly know that?

"Yeah… it is. Did Kevin tell you? He promised me he wouldn't tell anyone."

"No, Kevin didn't tell me. I've kind of thought you did for a while now. Martin, believe me, as much as rejection may hurt regret hurts even more. That feeling in the back of your head that life could be different, that nagging voice telling you that you're a fool, always questioning what could have been… it's not fun."

"I know that. I really do, but sometimes being afraid is so much easier. I know that I have to tell her, the hardest part of everything won't be telling her though. The hardest part will be if I pour my heart out to her and she chooses him over me. Just thinking about is about enough to have the heart of me."

"Martin, I know in my heart, she won't choose him. You're the one she wants to be with, even if she doesn't know it yet. Any girl would be so lucky to have you, so start believing in yourself."

"You know Lucy, you're very wise. I know where Ruthie gets it now."

"Thanks Martin. You're really sweet." I start to walk down the stairs and another bout of uncertainty washes over me. I turn back toward Lucy.

"But what if she still thinks of me like a brother? She's supposed to be like a sister to me."

"But, Martin, she's not your sister and you're not her brother. Let me tell you, she's never thought of you like her brother, she's always thought of you like a friend."

"I've always thought of her like that too. She is my friend you know, one of my very best friends."

"I've heard that's a good place to start a relationship."

"You've given me the confidence to do this. It's getting late though; I'm going to tell her tomorrow. Thanks Lucy, you're a good friend too. Oh, and Lucy I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone about this."

"Don't even worry about it Martin, my lips are sealed. Good luck tomorrow." With that I leave the apartment and go sit on the back porch. I sit there for several minutes by myself thinking about how I'm going to tell Ruthie. I want it to be something she will always remember; I want it to be perfect.

I finally decide on my course of action. I know exactly how I'm going to tell her, if I can muster the nerves.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Chapter 7 should be up in a couple of days


	7. Finally

CHAPTER 7 _RUTHIE_

Sunday morning arrives and I can't believe the weekend is already almost gone. I get downstairs and we leave for church. I am happy enough to sit next to Martin during the service. It actually might not be a good thing, I'm so distracted by him I haven't heard a word Dad has said. He's wearing a suit today and he looks so handsome. I close my eyes for a second and breathe in the aroma of Martin's cologne. I open my eyes and look at his hands, he's fidgeting. Sometimes he acts like such a little kid, it's adorable. I catch the last few statements of Dad's sermon. It had something to do with Job, that much I know.

Church is over and we're all getting ready to go. "You know what Mom and Dad; I think I'm going to walk home. I need to clear my mind. I have some thinking to do." I slide the door of the van shut and start walking. Our house isn't terribly far away from the church, but it seems so much further when you're wearing high heels. I take them off and carry them in my hands. As I'm passing the park that I was at yesterday I stop to sit on the swings.

After a while of just sitting there I get up and finish walking home. I reach the front door just as it's opening. It's Dad, "We were really worried about you. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine; I just had some thinking to do. So I stopped at the park and sat there for a while. But I have things all figured out now."

"What things? What are you talking about Ruthie?"

"Oh nothing, there's just this boy I like. It's been causing me all sorts of confusion. But Lucy gave me some really good advice, so I'm okay now."

"Are you sure? I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"No, I think I'm fine. Or at least I'll be fine. I'm really nervous about telling him about my feelings."

"Who is this boy, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I think I'm going to tell him before I tell anyone else. He deserves to know how I feel about him. If it makes things worse between us, then it wasn't meant to be." If only I really felt that way. My dad seemed to buy it though and let's me be.

With that said I walk up stairs and into my room. I change out of my church clothes and into a comfy pair of sweats. I go over many different ways to tell him. I was thinking about just coming out with it and saying to the effect of 'Martin, I think I'm falling in love with you.' But I don't think that is the right way to go, so I went on thinking some more.

I look outside and the sun is starting to set, so I decide to sit outback and watch it kiss the horizon. That was one of my favorite things as a kid, sitting out here with Matt, Mary, Lucy, and Simon watching the sunset. For a moment the reminiscing takes my mind off of Martin and it's a nice break.

I go outside and sit on top of the picnic table for what seems like hours. I guess it has been a while because the sun has gone down and the air has a crisp kick. The nights get kind of chilly here and before I know it I'm shivering. I'm getting ready to go inside just as Lucy comes outside with a blanket and some cocoa. "Thanks Luce. I was just getting ready to go inside and get my jacket."

"You're welcome. Have you decided what you're going to do?"

"I'm going to tell him, tonight. I'm just trying to gather the courage to do it. He's worth it though. Even if he's not the one, I need to know. I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't find out."

"You know what Ruth? You are wise beyond your years. Everything will turn out fine. In my heart of hearts I know that you'll be okay." I turn toward her with tears in my eyes and she wraps her arms around me. We sit like that for several minutes, until Lucy says to me, "Martin's at the door. He's probably going to be coming out here, so I'm going to go inside. Good luck sweetie." She stands up and goes into the apartment.

"Thanks Luce." Deep breaths, I can do this. Just keep breathing, that's the key.

Martin comes outside and sits down next to me. "I heard you telling your dad that you're going to tell the guy how you feel." Here's my chance, I have to tell him.

"Yeah, I'm going to tell him. I just can't find the right words." Boy is that the truth, now that the time has finally arrived my mind has gone blank.

"Before you tell him there's something I want to tell you…" Please don't tell me I'm to young to date some one your age…

"Okay go ahead." Please be something good!

"Alright… all I was going to say is… never mind. It doesn't matter." Huh? That's weird.

"Okay? Are you sure there wasn't something?" Before I can comprehend it he stands up and turns toward the house. He starts walking in and then turns around. I'm glad he's coming back, I have something to tell him.

"No it is important, Ruthie I… what I was going to say is this…" He doesn't say anything and I'm getting a little confused. But then he walks up to me and looks me in the eyes, he leans in close as though he's going whisper in my ear. He puts his hand on my cheek and then does something I never expected, he kisses me. I'm so shocked I just sit there; he starts to pull away when it finally hits me and I pull him to me and kiss him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on my back.

"I really like you. I've been kind of distant because of you liking that other guy. If you still need to tell him about your feelings, I understand." The look on his face made it look as though his dog had just died.

"Really? You like me? I don't have to tell him after all… he told me first."

"It was me? The guy you like so much, is me? Why didn't you tell me?" With that he leans in to kiss me again. I don't think this could have turned out any better. I definitely wouldn't have had the courage to kiss him. I'm so glad he did, he's a really great kisser.

"Yeah, it was you the entire time. I can't believe this is happening! I'm so relieved. I was so afraid to tell you, I thought that you wouldn't feel the same way."

"I do, I feel the same way. I really like you Ruthie. I have never been happier in my entire life. I've been contemplating telling you this for the last several days. I have never been more nervous in my entire life.

"Me too, I've been going through the exact same thing. Lucy gave me some really great advice though."

"You mean, she knew you liked me?"

"Yeah, I told her I did."

"I told that I liked you, so she knew that we liked each other. I can't believe she knew and she just let us both be so miserable."

"I guess she just wanted us to figure it out for ourselves. It means a lot more coming from you, than it would coming from Lucy. She knew we'd tell each other eventually. She urged me to tell you, she told me that she knew you'd like me too."

"She basically told me the same thing. This is so crazy, I can't help feeling a little mad at her, but then I also am really thankful to her. She kept her promise to both of us."

"Yeah, she did. She is a really great sister like that."

"Well, Ruthie Camden, let's make this official… will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes, of course I will." And then, we kiss some more. My heart is happy. The story of Martin Brewer and Ruthie Camden will always be a happy one.

Author's Notes:

To be continued…?


	8. Epilogue

EPILOGUE

It's been three and a half years since Martin asked me to be his girlfriend. I can still remember the night we told my parents that we were dating; in fact almost the whole family was there. And it seems like it was only yesterday…

_FLASHBACK_

"Mom, Dad, everyone… can come in here please?" Martin and I are sitting on the couch in the living room. Lucy and Kevin already know, so this shouldn't be so bad. We only have to tell Mom, Dad, Matt, Simon, Sam, and David.

One by one they arrived in the living room. We've been hiding our relationship for a couple of weeks now. At school we hold hands and we go on dates, but we tell mom and dad that we are going to hang out with Mac. However Mac rarely makes it to hang out with us. We could hide it for a lot longer, but I know that Lucy and Kevin are wondering what going on, since they both know what has been going on.

I stand up and look around the room. "I want to start out saying that the last few weeks have been really good for me. I have been happier in these few weeks than I have been ever before. I know that you're all wondering what has made this all happen for me…" Whew, just breathe. My heart is beating out of my chest; I don't know how they are going to react to this. "I have a boyfriend. And he's made me more joyous than I have ever been. We've been dating for about three weeks now. I'm sorry I haven't told you about him yet. I just wanted to get used to it myself first."

"Ruthie, are you going to tell you who this guy is or are you going to keep him a secret." Matt always has been right to the point. It's one of the things I love most about him.

"I was getting to that. Actually I'm going to introduce him to you. I want you all to keep an open mind, I really like him…" I take a big breath…"Everyone I'm dating Martin." Silence follows my admission. Is anyone going to say anything?

"Somehow I kind of always expected this would happen." Dad seems okay with this. "I wish you would have told us this sooner. It's not that big of a deal, but we like to be on the inside of things. When things like this happen you have to respect us enough to tell is about it."

"Oh, you guys… this is great. I always thought you two might like each other. I'm so glad that you have talked to each other." I take hold of Martin's hand. I am so thankful that Mom and Dad are okay with this. Now it doesn't really matter what the others think.

"So you guys have just been dating behind all of our backs? All those times you said you were going to the Promenade to meet Mac, you were going out?" Simon has always been a little skeptical of me and going out with boys. I don't think he really liked Peter either.

"Yes. And believe me, we feel really bad about it. We just didn't want everyone on our back. We wanted to be able to go out and be a couple. We wanted to get to know each other as a couple before we told anyone." Martin is so good at telling people what's going on. He knows exactly what to say to people to make them understand.

"We know that we should have told everyone. But it was nice, I really liked hanging out with a guy and no one was freaking about me dating. I really like Martin; I just wanted to keep things normal for a while. We're both sorry."

Mom and Dad both tell us that they understand our feelings, but in the future when something important like this happens they wish that we'd tell them. Mom then tells me how happy she is for me. Everyone gives me hugs and I know that this is the way that it's supposed to be.

_END FLASHBACK_

Martin and I are still together. Life has changed a lot since then though. I have since become a high school graduate. I'll be attending UCLA this fall; Martin will be a junior there. I should be moving into my dorm in a couple of months.

Mom and Dad are having a hard time letting go; after all I am their last little girl. As much as I'm looking forward to being in college and living away from home, I know I will miss it. I will finally be grown and that is kind of scary, but it's exciting at the same time. Plus I won't be on my own, I'll have Martin. We'll look out for each other.

Martin is going to have his own apartment this year. That will be kind of nice; he won't have to deal with a roommate or anything. Martin's dad came back from Iraq two years ago; actually he arrived on the day of Martin's graduation. So he's been living with his dad, but it's only a couple of blocks away and we still see each other all the time.

In fact we're going out tonight, it happens to be the anniversary of the first time we told each other that we loved one another. He's been planning something special; he told me he'd take care of everything and not to worry about it.

I glance at the clock and realize that Martin should be arriving within an hour. I'm going to have to hurry and get ready. Although I have had my outfit picked out for about a week. I run to the bathroom and turn on the curling iron, I fix my hair just the way he likes it; lots of spiraling curls.

As I'm putting on the finishing touches the doorbell rings. I listen carefully and hear Dad answer the door. "Hi Martin, it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too Eric. Is Ruthie ready?"

"Ruthie! Honey, Martin's here."

"I'll be right down." I grab my bag and slowly descend down the stairs. Martin is wearing a suit; he knows that I love it when he dresses up. As I'm stepping off of the last step Martin steps up to me and kisses my cheek. He is such a gentleman. "Bye Dad, I'll be home later. Don't wait up."

"Don't worry Eric; I'll have her home at a decent hour." Martin says this as he's shaking Dad's hand. My parents love Martin. He always treats me with such respect and he honors them as though they were his own parents.

"Have fun you two. Bye." We shut the door and are off to our dinner.

"Where are we going? I know it's supposed to be a surprise, but I wanna know…please?" I stick out my lip as I'm getting into the car. He can't resist the puppy lip.

"Oh come on, I never get to surprise you. Please don't give me the 'sad eyes'. Let me have this one triumph."

"Okay, I can't wait!" As we're driving a song comes on the radio that I have never heard before. I love it so much that it brings tears to my eyes:

_It was no accident me finding you  
Someone had a hand in it  
Long before we ever knew  
Now I just can't believe you're in my life  
Heaven's smiling down on me  
As I look at you tonight_

I tip my hat to the Keeper of the stars  
He sure knew what he was doing  
When he joined these two hearts  
I hold everything  
When I hold you in my arms  
I've got all I'll ever need  
Thanks to the Keeper of the stars

Soft moonlight on your face oh how you shine  
It takes my breath away  
Just to look into your eyes  
I know I don't deserve a treasure like you  
There really are no words  
To show my gratitude

So I tip my hat to the Keeper of the stars  
He sure knew what he was doing  
When he joined these two hearts  
I hold everything  
When I hold you in my arms  
I've got all I'll ever need  
Thanks to the Keeper of the stars

It was no accident me finding you  
Someone had a hand in it  
Long before we ever knew

We arrive at the park and Martin stops the car. This park was so special to us; we came here a lot during high school. Actually this was where were first said that we loved each other. I can't believe that this didn't occur to me earlier.

He gets out of the car and comes to open my door. He is always so chivalric. He has one of those red and white checkered tablecloths on the table. There are candles and rose pedals all over. It looks so beautiful. "Martin, this is wonderful."

"I'm so happy that you like it." We sit down and enjoy the meal. After we are done eating he turns on the CD player and asks me to dance. We dance under the moonlight for a long time. This has to be the best night of my life. This took so much preparation; he has every little detail planned out.

We sit down on the swings. "Martin I love you so much." He just looks at me and smiles.

"Ruthie Camden… I love you more than I ever thought was possible. I love with all of my being. I want to say that to you for the rest of my life. Ruthie… will you marry me?" I knew that we'd eventually get married, but I definitely wasn't expecting him to ask me tonight.

I start crying again, tears of joy of course. "Yes, there is nothing that would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life with you."

I can't believe it! How exciting is this? I'm going to be Mrs. Ruthie Brewer.

THE END

Author's Notes:

A sequel may be on the way…

Keeper of the Stars by Tracy Byrd


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